Monday, July 12, 2010

How To Get Rid of Annoying Neighbors Using Voodoo

This is Marie Laveau, the lovely New Orleans voodoo mistress.

One of the guys who was cruising down the Shannon River with us is a landscape artist. He has dug up several odd items during his work, including a few upside-down statues of Saint Joseph. This is a practice that is supposed to help you sell your house.
Along the way he also learned how to rid yourself of unruly or noisy or just plain crazy neighbors.

I know of several people who could have used this information.

Here is what you do.
Write the names and birth dates of obnoxious neighbors on a piece of paper. (If you can't discover their birth dates you can still do the hex.)

Tear the paper into two pieces and place each piece on opposite sides of the yard.
Place a rock on top of each piece of paper.

Now run a salt line all around the border of the offensive persons property.

Now place two coconuts on their front porch.

That's it! Now wait for them to move out.

I could have used this knowledge when the people behind us ran a swimming school in their back yard! All day long it was, "Idonwannadoit! Idonwannad blub glug blub glug glug choke gaf hack buuuurp!" This was often followed by prodigious vomiting.

Now if YOU suddenly discover two coconuts on your front porch...well...just sayin'

1 comment:

Aunt of 14 said...

I mentioned you on my blog!