Friday, July 24, 2009
Macho Men v Girly Men
Last week our governator was blasting the legislature for not doing what he wanted them to do. The last time this happened, he called them “Girly Men,” which I thought was extremely funny.
Remembering this made me think of the two main types of men, macho men and girly men;
Or as I like to refer to them;
Mule-Headed, Semi-Evolved, Knuckle Draggers (MM)
Men Not Afraid To Get in Touch With Their Feminine Side. (GM)
GM have a sock drawer, an underwear drawer, and a shirt drawer, etc.
MM’s dresser drawers all look the same.
MM play football or other contact sports.
GM play tennis.
GM can locate items within a room.
MM walk to the door of the room and yell, “It’s not here!”
MM drive muddy trucks with huge tires.
GM drive Lexus Hybrids.
GM aren’t afraid to ask if their shirt “goes” with their pants OK.
Furthermore they CARE if they clash.
MM think “Getting dressed up” is wearing a t-shirt without anything rude printed on it.
GM ask their wives to drive on a trip, and are even able to sleep while she is driving, knowing that she is capable.
MM drive themselves to the hospital when they are, literally, in the throes of heart failure.
GM aren’t afraid to cry when they play the Star Spangled Banner at Olympic Medal Ceremonies
MM make fun of those who do.
MM drink their coffee black.
GM aren’t embarrassed to order a latte or a mocha cappuccino.
GM can smoothly order the beef bourguignon and farfalle with the yogurt drizzle and couscous on the side, please.
MM just eat meat and potatoes, and say things like “Just knock the horns off of it, Sweetie.” And “I don’t eat bait.” When someone suggests sushi.
GM own pasta makers and latte machines.
MM own motorcycles.
GM collect baseball cards.
MM collect baseball caps.
GM watch the History and Discovery Channels.
MM watch reruns of “Law and Order” and “Cops.”
GM want to be Anderson Cooper.
MM want to be Rambo.
MM shop at Home Depot, IF they really must.
GM shop at Restoration Hardware.
GM cut recipes from the newspaper that look good.
MM don’t cut shit from any newspaper.
GM call their shampoo and hair gel, “Products.”
MM never think of shampoo unless they reach their hand out for it and it isn’t there.
GM will wear pink if it looks good on them.
MM (See above item concerning getting dressed up).
GM can enjoy movies about relationships containing clever repartee.
MM will only go to movies if there will be some stuff blown up, a car chase, numerous grizzly deaths, and at least one semi naked lady.
GM like to talk in intimate closeness with their wives after lovemaking.
MM think they are being polite if they don’t make any noises involving escaping body gas.
GM enjoy sleeping on 600 thread count sheets.
MM have been known to sleep on the bare mattress, and not notice,
GM have miniature schnauzers.
MM have pit bulls.
You get the idea.
If this annoys any of you MM’s, you will need to know that I have moved out of the area.
I am working for the governator.