Friday, July 24, 2009

Macho Men v Girly Men





Last week our governator was blasting the legislature for not doing what he wanted them to do. The last time this happened, he called them “Girly Men,” which I thought was extremely funny.

Remembering this made me think of the two main types of men, macho men and girly men;

Or as I like to refer to them;

Mule-Headed, Semi-Evolved, Knuckle Draggers (MM)
and
Men Not Afraid To Get in Touch With Their Feminine Side. (GM)

GM have a sock drawer, an underwear drawer, and a shirt drawer, etc.
MM’s dresser drawers all look the same.

MM play football or other contact sports.
GM play tennis.

GM can locate items within a room.
MM walk to the door of the room and yell, “It’s not here!”

MM drive muddy trucks with huge tires.
GM drive Lexus Hybrids.

GM aren’t afraid to ask if their shirt “goes” with their pants OK.
Furthermore they CARE if they clash.
MM think “Getting dressed up” is wearing a t-shirt without anything rude printed on it.

GM ask their wives to drive on a trip, and are even able to sleep while she is driving, knowing that she is capable.
MM drive themselves to the hospital when they are, literally, in the throes of heart failure.

GM aren’t afraid to cry when they play the Star Spangled Banner at Olympic Medal Ceremonies
MM make fun of those who do.

MM drink their coffee black.
GM aren’t embarrassed to order a latte or a mocha cappuccino.

GM can smoothly order the beef bourguignon and farfalle with the yogurt drizzle and couscous on the side, please.
MM just eat meat and potatoes, and say things like “Just knock the horns off of it, Sweetie.” And “I don’t eat bait.” When someone suggests sushi.

GM own pasta makers and latte machines.
MM own motorcycles.

GM collect baseball cards.
MM collect baseball caps.

GM watch the History and Discovery Channels.
MM watch reruns of “Law and Order” and “Cops.”

GM want to be Anderson Cooper.
MM want to be Rambo.

MM shop at Home Depot, IF they really must.
GM shop at Restoration Hardware.

GM cut recipes from the newspaper that look good.
MM don’t cut shit from any newspaper.

GM call their shampoo and hair gel, “Products.”
MM never think of shampoo unless they reach their hand out for it and it isn’t there.

GM will wear pink if it looks good on them.
MM (See above item concerning getting dressed up).

GM can enjoy movies about relationships containing clever repartee.
MM will only go to movies if there will be some stuff blown up, a car chase, numerous grizzly deaths, and at least one semi naked lady.

GM like to talk in intimate closeness with their wives after lovemaking.
MM think they are being polite if they don’t make any noises involving escaping body gas.

GM enjoy sleeping on 600 thread count sheets.
MM have been known to sleep on the bare mattress, and not notice,

GM have miniature schnauzers.
MM have pit bulls.

You get the idea.
If this annoys any of you MM’s, you will need to know that I have moved out of the area.

I am working for the governator.

33 comments:

Happy To Be/ Gl♥ria said...

too funny and so True...I got a mm one for sure...May you have a great weekend my friend....hugs and smiles Gl♥ria

Keetha Broyles said...

Oh, this is a GOOD one. I wish you'd posted it last week while our friends were up here at the cabin with us. HE was NOT the macho type when it came to PRIMPING. We called him "metro" for metrosexual - - - he spent MORE TIME in the bathroom getting ready to go someplace than the other three of us COMBINED.

The French Bear said...

Too funny! I like this story, made me laugh and nod my head through the whole thing!!!!
Cheers,
MArgaret B

Lori E said...

My husband is both. Does that make him a BM?

Marjorie (Molly) Smith said...

LOL...my DH is a lot MM and a little bit GM,...I'm afraid I like the MM, best.

Alex the Girl said...

My husband is a bit of both...does that make him a closetted GMer?

Housewife Savant said...

This is brilliant. I love a good stereotype.

I shuddered when I read sleep on a bare mattress.
Unimaginable.

Debby said...

ahahaha!!!! Too funny!!! I have a huge smile on my face after reading this.

I think my hubby is a bit of both, more the MM, but every now & again I see a pink golf shirt coming out of the closet and then he isn't happy when he gets back home because his little MM friends were teasing him all day..Poor baby!!!
Debby

Suzy said...

I prefer girly men. They can talk AND listen~!

merja said...

Here's a vote for the MM's. At least they are predictable!

Miss Business Casual said...

Hilarious! Boyfriend is definitely a GM but maybe we should keep that to ourselves. Happy Saturday Sharefest! Feel free to drop by http://missbusinesscasual.blogspot.com.

merja said...

Oh, and happy Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!
If you've got the time drop by at
http://99countries.blogspot.com

Claudia said...

Oh my gosh, hysterical! You made me laugh so much. I think my husband has a bit of both! Love this post!

Charlene said...

HA HA sooooooooo funny. I don't prefer a type. I prefer the one I have. WAY TOO MANY YEARS TO RETRAIN ANOTHER ONE! So, will laugh along but, will keep mine & keep laughing.

Deanna said...

This is priceless!!! My husband is definitely MM except that when he sees a flag, he turns into a GM. He's very patriotic...lol! My favorite one was the "Knock the horn off of it"...that is my DH to the core complete with the potatoes!


¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*´¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ Deanna

Beansieleigh said...

Hi Lynn! I LOVE this post!! First I LOVED your reference to "knuckle draggers"! I have used this same term often.. In fact I was married to one, at one point.. That "MM" is history now, I'm only too happy to say! Liked the one about their coffees.. I LOVED this whole post! If my printer was working at the moment, I would definitely be printing this out, and quite possibly would be framing it! (0; Hope you're enjoying a wonderful weekend! ~tina

Julie said...

I love to laugh, THANKS that was great...

Julie

Aprons by Julie

Julie said...

I forgot to mention "Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest"

Julie

Candy said...

Thanks for stopping by...interesting reading thru the MM vs GM.
Wish the Govenator would hold more to the right...he is in danger of becoming one of 'them'
I prefer MM, mine (hubby & son)know who they are and always ready to rescue a damsel in distress.
Thanks to my MM I have never been in distress.

Honoring and serving, Candy

Mimi said...

Thanks for the smile! Boy, I've known both and I've known combinations of both. Sadly, all of them are a pain in the...

Collected Treasures said...

enjoyed your post....MM really need to just get over themselves....not very confident in their manhood I would think as the girlie stuff just scares them....I have a framed sign in my store which gives MM permission to be confortable in my very girlie store..."Real Mean Aren't Afraid of Roses"...any man that can sleep.in a room full of rose pictures and fabric and still feel free to eat cookies in bed is alright by me....jana

A bird in the hand said...

Miz Lynn, you made my day with your comments on my blog!

xo Colette

Barb said...

Oh so true, and very well put.
Funny to think of all those things, and how our own guys are.

Thanks for coming by.
blessings,
Barbara jean

sepiadreams said...

Give me a GM anyday.....They are most likely great decorators and love to shop..... Hmmmmm....I think I need one !!!! Love Tiina...

Bellamere Cottage said...

Too funny!

Blessings,
Spencer

Chari said...

Hi Lynn...

Just wanted to come by to say thank you for dropping by on Saturday to take a peek at my pink depression glass...thank you for leaving me such a sweet comment!!!

Girl, you had me rolling on the floor in laughter...reading through the difference in GM and MM!!! It's sooooo funny and soooo true!!! I also thought it was hilarious that your "governator" called those men names...girly men!!! Hehe!!!

Warmest wishes,
Chari

Kathy's Red Door Welcome said...

This is a riot. I just had to read it to my favorite GM.

City.Girl.Em said...

OOh, I love a man who'll do my toes, and if he'll come with me for a pedicure and get one, too, then he's won my heart forever.

I love men secure in their masculinity and aren't afraid to dip an overgrown toe into their feminine side.

Gillian said...

ROFL!!!!
MM just eat meat and potatoes, and say things like “Just knock the horns off of it, Sweetie.” And “I don’t eat bait.” When someone suggests sushi.
~ this made me laugh sooooooo loud!!! :)

Lori R. said...

Oh my.... I'm married to a BM....

Joanne said...

That is so perfect. LOVED it so much when I was able to tick off GM for my darling on almost all the list. He has a couple of MM traits but the easy benign ones.
Thanks for posting this!!!

Anonymous said...

"I'm still a guy" by super
country star Brad Paisley!!

Love him. He is from WV

Pamela

Vivienne said...

I have tears I am laughing so hard. The funniest part for me is that I think my hubs is a MM/GM Hybrid!

(Also, I recognize a few MM traits in MYSELF!) Ack!