Thursday, October 29, 2009

Letters to...


Dear Shoplifters,
Thank you so much for adding the impossible to open blister packs to our lives.
Opening these flame-less candles took a big chunk of my day, not to mention all of my B vitamins. Really what are these made of, anyway? This material ought to be used by the military, to reinforce tanks or jail cells.



Dear Safeway Musac Makers,
If you must put “Three Times a Lady” in your music feed, you are just going to have to put up with my out of context maniacal laughter.
See, all I hear is “You un, ti, tee time da wady”
Ala Buckwheat. And that’s just how it is.

Dear Dr. Dentist,
When you are getting ready to do your root canal thing, surely there is a better way to test for the correct tooth than poking it with dry-ice-on-a-stick. Why did you take all those x-rays? And how am I going to get down from the ceiling? And what are you going to do now that I cleared your waiting room with my scream?

10 comments:

Lori E said...

The worst is when you have bought a new pair of scissors...in the blister pack...that you can't open because you don't have any stinkin' scissors.

Claudia said...

I hate those blister packs - what a pain in the a**! And the root canal takes me back to mine - I had to go back to have something adjusted during the process and the dentist didn't freeze it - "Oh, it won't hurt." After I screamed, he realized I didn't agree with him.

Feel better!

Joanne said...

LOL I guess its that sort of day -- I did three letters also.

I HATE the blister packs -- what are they protecting????

stefanie said...

you are toooooo funny and truthful, thanks for the chuckle

Blondie's Journal said...

Oh, Lynn, I love when you get on a roll. You nearly made me piddle myself.

xoxo
jane

mbkatc230 said...

I'm dying here. The letter to the dentist is unfortunately too true. But my favorite is the Three Times A Lady - I do the exact same thing when I hear that song. Good ole Eddie Murphy lol. Thanks for the belly laugh! Kathy

Vintage Christine said...

They actually sell devices to be used specifically to open blister packaging. I prefer using my scissors and then spending a few minutes cursing as I try to peel back the hard unyielding plastic. And please don't remind me about the dentist--I've been putting off a visit for just this reason! Sadists!!!

Housewife Savant said...

Fifteen years ago I heard the Beatles' "Revolution" on musac.

It haunts me still.

("Haunts me" means "gives me the diarrhea", but I used code cuz I'm too classy to refer to The Runs in a comment, and too stupid to spell diarrhea.)

My Crafty Little Page said...

Laughing!!!

mama-face said...

LOL. The worst part of those dang packs is when your child is in the backseat of your car and can't get their prize opened and there is not a thing you can do; why don't I carry industrial strength scissors at all times? um...you can tell I've lived that nightmare a few times!