Saturday, June 27, 2009

Second Visit

This is a fairly recent post, but then again all of my posts are recent.
Now I am going to get all nerdy and figure out how to connect this to Chari so I can thank her for thie effort on her part to put up with the likes of me.

Recently my athletic daughter said, “I need to go get myself some new cleats.” For those of you who are not athletically inclined, I believe these are shoes with little pointy things on the bottom to help keep one upright during periods of rigorous activity. (Although I happen to know that upon occasion she purposely hurls herself onto a dusty dirty “base.” Why someone would do this, I do not know.)
Anyway, I decided right then, that those were some words that would never come out of my mouth; at least not in that particular order.

This got me to thinking about things I thought I would never say, but I have actually said since moving to the country.

The first occurrence happened the very first day we were up here. I asked Rancher Richie if he had moved the horses into the other pasture.
Who said that?
The only thing I have previously said about a horse is,
“Look! A horse!”

The next unbelievable thing I said was, “Could you put up a clothesline for me?”

Did I just say that out loud?

I need to tell a little story here.

The summer I was ten years old, I had three younger siblings. One was an infant. This made for lots and lots of laundry. My mother decided it would be my never-ending chore to hang it all on the line and collect it when it dried ten minutes later. (Hey, it was summer in Oklahoma. Things dried quickly.)

The other thing I did that summer was sit on my front porch and play “Jacks” with my friend from down the street. I would get no farther than my Pigs-in-the-Pen level and I’d hear her call me to hang out another load of diapers. Aarg! I hated it!
I vowed to never own a clothesline when I grew up. And I have kept that vow until now. After all I didn’t want smoggy smelling sheets. Recently I decided to see if clothes would smell like sunshine out here in this beautiful country. They do. The country air dryer makes me bury my face in the sheets and breathe in the wonderful scent.

Then another outburst caused me to wonder who I had become. I was sitting here at my computer looking out the window at…
“Good Lord, there is a bull running down our driveway!”
(I found out later that it was a cow because it had one of those udder things hanging under it, but it had horns! I didn’t know that girl cows had horns. It had escaped from a neighbor’s pasture. Oh, those sneaky cows!

Here are a few more things I have said that make my mother wonder if I have been taken over by pod people:

“You know what I’d really like for Christmas? A compost bin.”

“I don’t need any new clothes. I have these cut off jeans, and my all-purpose dress.”

“Here chick, chick, chickies. I brought you some yummy cracked corn.” (I have been afraid of chickens all of my life. The way they look at you with one eye and all. And you never knew what they were going to do next! Creepy!)
“I love autumn. It is my favorite season.”
(Since I am a person who has measured her entire life in semesters, this is an amazing thing to hear coming out of my mouth! We used to call September the “S Month” just to keep from speaking the word aloud.)

“Oh good kitty, you’ve brought me a lovely dead mouse. No, you cannot bring it in the house.”

“Look, the chickens are on the front porch watching me through the door.”

No, I do not want to go out for dinner.

Of course there are still a couple of phrases that one will not hear coming from my lips. One of them is,

“This recipe sounds delicious. I believe I’ll go shopping for all these unusual and exotic sounding ingredients and make this for dinner.” (Williams Sonoma is a store full of chores if you ask me.)

If I do this cooking thing, my family will think I have become possessed by the ghost of Julia Child and they will quickly arrange an exorcism.

I wonder what they’ll think when they get my hand made birth announcement for our new baby calf.
You might like these stories:


angelcel said...

I love breathing in the sweetness of fresh air on clean laundry. I'm glad I'm not alone in this quirk because I'm sure it looks ever so slightly perverted to be burying my face in what's hanging on the line every time I happen to pass by! (...Though I do avoid doing it with pants)!

Susie Jefferson said...

Oh, how I love this post! The birth announcement - YES, pooh on the ordinary boring ones. Cooking... hmmm.. I try to get my husband to do it as much as I possibly can. I can do it, but don't like spending hours to make something eaten in seconds. Or ingredients lists a hundred miles long (like you could keep it all in your cupboards just in case...)

Well done for getting over your fear of chickens - they always look like they're considering whether to peck... HARD.

Love your header! Happy Pink Saturday!

Keetha Broyles said...

Somehow I MISSED this post first time around. Loved it!

Some things you'll NEVER hear coming out of my mouth:

"I'm in training to run a marathon."

"I love to go grocery shopping."

"I have such thick hair and it has soooo much body."

"I have flat feet."

Kathy's Red Door Welcome said...

I know if I met you I'd like you. You are so funny! My daughter lives next door to me and she was my pickiest eater and as a child when she had to load the dishwasher she would hold on to the dirty plates by the very edge, god forbid, her fingers touch the yucky slimy food. Now,as a grown adult, with children of her own, you will find her tending her chickens (we live in the downtown area of our city) wearing an apron, canning apricots from my tree, and cooking up delicious concoctions that would never have touched her lips when she way ten. I had always evisioned as a grown up her living in New York condo ,working as an editor of a fancy magazine or newspaper, with her children, her Nanny and her full time maid. Who knew? Life is surprising, my mother always said "never say never!" L.O.L.

Lori E said...

Alas another city girl lost to the country charms.
You may have cows with horns poop and one eyeball staring chicken poop but you get to bury your face in the clean towels and shirts (and undies I guess). Life is full of trade offs.

Joycee said...

You are so funny! Thanks for coming to visit GrannyMountain today and come back often! I had a major meltdown at the blog with lost pictures last weekend so I'm in the process of reposting stories...oh what a mess!
Joy C.

Peg @ Bloomfield Farm said...

Your post is too funny. I loved all the things you've said about living in the country. Even for a small town girl like me, living on a farm is always full of new experiences. If you haven't already read it, you should visit She is a kindred spirit, except she does love to cook.